Normally, on our website, the live tweets I conduct are the most viewed stories we have. So, this tells me two things. 1) We can only process and comprehend things that are 140 characters. 2) Everything should be converted to tweets.
So, with that in mind, the Sports Weekly Wrap-Up is entirely twitter based. So without any more waiting, here are completely fake tweets from somewhat fake twitter usernames.
WSU/UW basketball game
Patrick_Simon - I swear that shot hit the rim a little bit, it wasn’t a complete air-ball. #right?
Coach_Bone – Simon, who we (WSU) only recruited, and hadn’t been in the entire game until that moment was still the best option we had in my opinion.
Lorenzo_Romar – Can;t figure out if that was late V-Day present or early X-mas present. Either way, thank you @Coach_Bone for drawing up that play.
WSU baseball sweep
T_Ard – snowing here in Pullman, can’t tell the difference between the ball and the snowflakes right now.
Derek_Jones – Who said playing baseball in the snow wasn’t any fun!? Loving these snow angel creations right now! #WinterWonderland
NBA All-Star Weekend
C_Barkley – Someone grab me a pillow, planket and read me a bed time story, because this dunk contest is making me sleepy. #notentertained
Jeremy_Evans – I’d like to thank all my fans that voted me! They told me I won by only one vote. Means a lot to me. #Blessed
NBAfan1045 - @Jeremy_Evans there was only one person who voted you idiot. You should be thanking me! #ImSoDepressed #IHateMyLife
Kevin_Hart – Hey!!! You guys see me win the MVP award and dunk on a Fisher Price hoop??! So dope! Also, my movie comes out soon, don’t know if you seen all the promos
NBA All-Star Game
Kobe_Bryant – I’m taking this game seriously. No exhibition play here. Bring it LeBron. I want you.
Kobe_Bryant – Beating up LeBron so bad, he had to get his little sidekick to break my nose. No worries, gives me an excuse to wear an awesome mask now.
King_James – Yo, why is Kobe taking this game so seriously? This is an exhibition game right? I mean, just trying to have some fun.
King_James –Kobe keeps yelling in my ear to shoot it. I think he wants me to pass it. #IDontWantTheBallInCrunchTime
King_James –Kobe really wanted me to shoot it. Said that winners want the ball in their hands in the final moments, Or was that Hackman in The Replacements? #OhWell
Kevin_Hart – me again guys! You all see my NEW promo for my movie, ‘Think Like A Man’? Check it out now!!! So funny.
C_Barkley - @Kevin_Hart if I see one more damn promo for that shitty ass movie, I’m going to punch the nearest cute animal. I’m seeing a kitten right now…
Shaqzilla - @C_Barkley don'tscare @Kevin_Hart. Heisonlyasmalllittleguyman. YoKevinthatmovieisprobablygoingtobereallyfunnybutleavetheNBAtheatricstomeandchuck.
Ryan Braun doesn’t test positive and wins appeal for 50 game suspension
Ryan_Braun – False test! Must have gotten sample mixed up with Prince’s. That sell-out definitely does steroids. Have fun in Detroit! #NOT
Buster_Olney – Just tasted Braun’s sample for authenticity. Definitely his, and definitely no steroids. Read my blog tomorrow morning for more information #MLB
Roger_Clemens - @BondsIsInnocent @Big_Mac @A-Rod - Yo, how in the hell did Braun pull that off?! You guys are in shock of this news too, right? #WeAllInnocent
ry_burnett - @McShay and @KiperJr no one f**cking cares about your 50th mock draft. Take a break and wait for the actual drafts. #IHateMockDrafts
Sacramento Kings most likely will keep their arena
Clay_Bennett – HAHAHAHA I love it when Seattle gets screwed over. Way to go @NBAcommish and @MaloofBro Keep the Kings in Sac city.
NBAcommish - @Clay_Bennett you honestly thought I would allow the Kings to move to Seattle? No way in hell.
C_Hansen - @NBAcommish So… um… I’m spending a lot of money here. Can we at least have the Hornets?
NBAcommish - @C_Hansen I’ll give you the Bobcats. That’s my only offer.
C_Hansen - @NBAcommish Hell, no one wants the Bobcats. I’ll pass.
Mariner’s center fielder Franklin Gutierrez tears his pectoral muscle, out at least four weeks.
Gutierrez24 – Looks like I’m injuried again everyone. Good news, at least we know for a certainty what this injury is. No more stomach issues for me!
Gutierrez24 – Starting to feel a stomach ache happening… maybe the torn pectoral isn’t the only thing wrong with me.
Ichi51 – @Gutierrez24 HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS HURT!!!!? Learn to stretch man. #NotThatHardToDo
Remember, none of these tweets are real.